


break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored

by skywalkerz



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Jealous Poe Dameron, M/M, Oblivious Finn (Star Wars), Pining Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, but that's only bc poe is a jealous mess, cheating tw, comes across as an anti-rey story, cuz i cant write actual star wars fic lol, i guess??, lots of space references, modern star wars au, seriously if u like rey this might not be this fic for you just cuz she doesnt come out on top
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:20:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22152412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skywalkerz/pseuds/skywalkerz
Summary: Rey and Finn are the world's cutest couple. Poe and Finn are best friends. There's one way this can play out.
Relationships: Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 4
Kudos: 96





	1. Chapter 1

_How did I get here?_ Poe inquires to himself as he sits, yet again, at his best friend's kitchen table with said best friend's girlfriend for another dinner slash movie slash game night. He told himself he was done torturing himself and yet here he is, watching Rey practically smother Finn in kisses across his neck as he stirs something on the stove.

Rey's nice, sure, whatever, and because Rey is dating Finn, Poe plays nicely. And hey, it's not her fault that Finn likes her instead of Poe, he thinks bitterly. 

They go back, y'know, not too far, but still. Finn and Rey at college together. Poe was a TA, young and new and insecure, and shouldn't have got involved with the duo, but they were constantly punctual and witty in lecture, and somehow, here they all are. Rey had graduated with her degree in personal training and Finn soared with his degree in social work. He was kind, compassionate; the major fit him perfectly. 

Poe continued teaching and the three remained close friends. Poe should have figured, they were always attached at the damn hip. Back then, and especially now. It shouldn't have surprised him when Finn told him.

_"Rey?" Poe has to fight himself to not spit out the name. "I mean...seriously, buddy?" He tries to remain kind, cordial. But what the fuck._

_"Poe..."_

_"No, no, i'm happy for you guys." Poe puts his hands up in defense where he's seated across from Finn on the loveseat in Finn's apartment. Poe ignores a hair tie on the coffee table that is now, most definitely, Rey's._

_"Really." Finn says, not a question. He's giving Poe that famous "don't bullshit me" look._

_'Really!" Poe gleams with fake positivity, although the smile on his face is nothing but sarcastic. "It'd be good for you to finally get laid, my friend. All that pent up stress from your depressing job."_

_"My job isn't - okay, nevermind. Poe, I just know how you get, and I know the three of us are kind of like a unit, and this makes things awkward for you -"_

_Poe scoffs. "Psh! I am not awkward, and this ins't awkward. And I am perfectly content with this...new..." He purses his lips together and fails at a smile. "Situation." He tries to make it better by patting Poe on the knee. "It's fine, buddy, really."_

_Poe and Finn both choose to ignore the way Poe's voice cracks at the end, hiding something, something unnamed._

It all feels like yesterday when Poe's heart metaphorically crashed onto the carpet that day. But hey, Finn's a big boy, he can make his own decisions, even if that decision is 5'7 and doesn't even like the Back to the Future movies. 

"Is dinner ready yet?" Poe groans. The sooner they eat, the sooner they can play games and thus the sooner Poe can go home to his life of woes. 

Rey turns from where she is leaning against the countertop. "I don't see you in the kitchen slaving away." She quirks up an eyebrow. She's being comedic, of course she is, so why does Poe have the feeling like he wants to rip off her limbs? Play nice, Poe, he must remind himself. 

He has no real reason to dislike Rey, no genuine reason. But when she turns back to Finn and traces a hand along his back, Poe insists his reasoning is valid. 

Finn looks back at Poe this time. "Lucky for you, I just finished." He gives Poe a smile that should be illegal, honestly. The way it shines and glimmers and sends Poe's heart to his stomach and his stomach to his groin.

Finn is busy setting bowls and utensils and Poe makes himself useful by grabbing napkins and cups. He snags a beer from the fridge, because Lord, he needs it. 

The three seat themselves at the table and Rey starts going on about another day at work. When Poe ignores the fact that he is envious of her, she's actually quite funny and animated in the way she tells stories. All her hand gestures and expressions and fake voices for the people she is mimicking. Poe almost wishes he could go back to when they were all friends, and there was no Rey and Finn, but simply Rey, Finn and Poe. But laughing at Rey's story makes things feel almost normal.

And when Finn starts talking about his day, Poe finds a peace and tranquility feeling his heart, his soul, and every other cliche feeling there is. It consumes him. Finn is a quiet speaker, but articulate and firm in how he talks. He doesn't use his hands so much, but his eyes light up when he mentions something he is passionate about. The brown orbs of his sparkle and twinkle at Poe, and he is awestruck at the way those eyes can make Poe feel like he and Finn are the only two in the room. 

Rey laughs at something Finn says and Poe is dragged from his love bubble. 

"And what'd you do today, Professor Dameron?" Finn asks, pointing a fork at Poe. "Date any students today?" 

"No, I did not, for your information, and I never will, as badly as you want me to -- for whatever strange reason that is." Poe scoffs, breaking eye contact for a moment.

"Well, anything funny happen?" Rey says around a mouth full of her roll. It's almost endearing. Finn looks at her and has to giggle at how ridiculous she looks; he reaches over and rests his hand on top of hers and gives it a squeeze. Poe wants to vomit.

"Nah, nothin' today. Pop quiz, though. They always love a good pop quiz." He says with sarcasm dripping in his voice. Finn gives him a smile. 

"Rey and I never saw a single pop quiz with you! New thing you're trying?" Finn asks, grabbing another roll from the basket. 

Poe shrugs. "Yeah, 'bout maybe a year ago? I figured I gotta play bad cop as a professor eventually. I was too soft on you two." And Finn is still smiling away at him and Poe almost cannot take how much it hurts. 

"Bad cop, eh? That's a kink for some people." Finn points, and Rey gives him a smack on the bicep. Poe melts in his seat. 

Rey stands up, grabbing the dishes in the process. "Alright, clowns. Game? Movie? Sharing deep, dark secrets? What'll it be?" She inquires on her walk to the dishwasher. 

"Oooo, I'd love to hear what goody two shoes is hiding." Poe smirks, whipping around in his chair to smile at Rey. Rey calls it the cheshire cat smile, so devious and no-good and so Poe. 

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Finn replies, tossing a balled-up napkin at Poe. 

"Ohhh, bring it, big guy." Poe nearly growls with a grin, dashing to the living room for a pillow and immediately chucking it at Finn. Finn follows suit and finds a pillow of his own and hits it against Poe's side. Poe retrieves his own thrown pillow and goes to hurl it at Finn again. Finn moves as the pillow comes colliding with a photo frame on the wall. Poe and Finn laugh like children as is crashes to the ground and they hear Rey groan from the kitchen. 

She struts out into the living room with her arms crossed and lips pursed. "Who did it this time?" 

Finn shrugs. "The dog?"

"We don't own a dog." Rey says with amusement in her voice. 

Finn raises an eyebrow. "Uh, yeah, we do." As he nods his head to Poe. Poe's jaw drops. 

"Excuse me!"

"You're excused." 

"Hey! Pick a movie or something before I put you both in a time-out." Rey says, leaving to the kitchen again.

Poe plops down on the couch with a sigh. "Sooooo. Back to the Future." He grins.

Finn groans, rubbing his hands over his face. "Bro, I do not want to hear Rey grumble about how much she hates the 'incest vibes' of that movie all night."

Poe pouts. "It's our movie, buddy!" Finn gives him a soft smile back.

"Yeah, it's our movie. So let's stop sharing it with her." He plops down next to Poe, and Poe thinks, let's stop sharing _you_ with her. 

"Promise another time." Poe says quietly, turning his head to face Finn. Finn rubs Poe's knee. "I promise. Another time." And Poe's knee could practically burst into flames. 

Rey comes into the living room diving onto the couch next to Finn.

"Did you goons pick a movie?" 

Finn puts in a movie that is not Back to the Future, and Poe doesn't even bother trying to peak at what it is. Poe spends the next 2 and a half hours of Interstellar ignoring the fact that Rey and Finn are cuddled up directly next to him. He ignores everything angry and bitter burning up in his chest. He ignores how badly it hurts, how badly he wants to fall asleep on Finn and hear his heartbeat and clutch his shirt and feel _loved._ He ignores how he wants to feel Finn's fingers dragging across his back and through his curly hair, how badly he wants to have Finn's lips pressed against his forehead and cheekbones. He presses it all down, pretending it doesn't exist like he always has. 

When Interstellar ends, Rey is left asleep, mouth open and all. Finn excuses himself as he hoists her into his arms bridal style to carry her to bed. Poe fights the urge to crash on the couch, reminding himself silently he is getting too old to wake up with a stiff neck and sore back. He rests his head on his hand on the arm of the couch as he waits for Finn to return. He ignores the evil thought in his head that reminds him Finn and Rey share a bed. 

When Finn comes back, he's ditched his zip-up black hoodie, and his muscular arms are on full display. Poe wants to swallow but his mouth is desert dry. 

"You takin' off then?" Finn nods at the half-asleep man on the couch. Poe stands up and stretches pathetically. 

"I am such an old man." Poe says through a yawn. 

"A sleepy old man." Finn adds. Poe frowns. 

"Ha ha. So funny." Finn takes note that Poe's voice is groggy and hoarse as he speaks. His curly locks are chaotic and untamed, and his t-shirt is folded at the bottom, exposing the smallest sliver of tan skin near his abdomen. Finn ignores the image, ignores the way it makes something in him ignite.

Poe makes his way to the door, shoving on his boots poorly at the entrance. "Okay, well, remember, Back to the Future when 'Miss. I Hate Good Films' isn't around."

Finn laughs, so wonderfully, so beautifully. "Yes, you got it, I made a promise, didn't I?" And then Finn is pulling Poe into a hug, the best kind of hug where Finn's arms always encircle around Poe's waist so Poe can wrap his own arms around Finn's neck. 

"You did." Poe mumbles into Finn's warm neck. And the scent of Finn surrounds Poe. And then Finn is pulling away too soon. And Poe is opening the door and leaving the porch, and when he turns, Finn is still in the doorway, hands shoved in his pockets with a grin plastered on his face. 

Poe starts his car and it isn't until he is pulling out of the driveway that Finn finally turns around and shuts the door. Poe swallows down the hurt that begs to come up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> needed to add a lil finn perspective here!! xx

_Poe Dameron._

He wasn't supposed to waltz into Finn's life like that, you know. But he did, clumsy and awkward yet somehow cool and suave at the exact same time. Charming, handsome as hell, a smile that Finn always wanted to know the story behind. He would lecture in class and Finn found himself in awe of simply how he spoke. His eyebrows moving with every other word, the way his mouth would quirk up slightly on one corner when he made a ridiculous, corny joke. Finn found himself addicted, in a weird way. 

Poe had these striking eyes, a scar on his right cheek; he was a sarcastic asshole on the outside but the kindest soul on the inside.

Finn was drawn to him. Maybe because he was older, maybe because he seemed smarter, with him being a teacher and all. Regardless, Finn looked at Poe and just _felt_ something. When the two of them met, Finn was barely 21 years old. And now Finn was 26, Rey on his hip, and he wonders how they got here. 

He won't lie, something about Poe is still appealing and mesmerizing. He still finds himself caught off guard with how fucking beautiful Poe is inside and out. But that's the past. Infatuation with Poe is in the past. It has to be. Because this is the now. This regret, this shame, this 'what if?' lifestyle is the now.

And now there's Rey. Gorgeous, dazzling Rey. Brown hair trailing down her shoulders, her incredible smile one can see from the stars, that one endearing dimple that comes out when she laughs especially. It was almost a given the two would end up together, with all their late night study sessions, cramming for Poe's class, the Starbucks runs and attempts at going to the gym, afternoons in the quad. And then they were a couple. 

"Finn? Finn!" Rey waves a hand in front of Finn's face as he drives. And Finn is met with reality.

"Who?"

Rey raises an eyebrow. "Ya looked like you were in space there, love. Are you alright?" 

Finn blinks a few times and lets out a heavy sigh when he realizes he has, yet again, let his mind wander off to think about Poe. 

"I'm - I'm fine. Just...y'know, making my mental grocery list." He laughs awkwardly to lighten the tension. He feels himself squeeze the steering wheel tightly.

"But -" Rey pauses and then fiddles around in her purse. "You wrote me one. Actually, you and Poe wrote it." She scoffs, but smiles. "I can tell you wrote it together because the beer he likes is on here. Also, oranges. And you hate oranges." 

She looks over at him in the driver's seat with an award winning smile and Finn feels guilty for something he can't place. 

"Heh. Yeah. Guess we did. I...forgot about that." He can feel his heart beating quicker, and he can't help but just feel like he's lying to her. 

"Okay, weirdo. Well, hey, that's why we're together, right? So I can remind you of grocery lists when you forget." She says with a soft smile. Finn manages to smile at her back, and hope it doesn't look as forced as it feels. For good measure, he lifts her hand to his and kisses the back of it.

_22 year old Finn rummages through Poe's pantry._

_"Dude, there isn't shit to eat in here." Finn complains, shutting the pantry doors with a little more force than intended._

_"Oh, I'm sorry," Poe doesn't look up from his rapid texting. "I forgot you lived here and paid for the groceries."_

_Finn walks over and playfully taps at Poe's phone to interrupt his texting._

_"No, but you should still keep things here that I like. I am your guest, after all." Finn crosses his arms and Poe looks up, a classic, lopsided grin plastered on his face. It's like the sun shines through him and Finn doesn't mind getting a little burnt._

_"Oh yeah?" Poe stands up, facing Finn, so close, so fucking close it shouldn't be allowed. "Well...what would I keep here?" Poe bites his lip, fighting a smile off._

_Finn ponders, taking a moment to wander the kitchen just to step away from the intensity that is standing directly in front of Poe._

_"Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Because it's superior."_

_"I disagree, but continue." Poe replies._

_"Goldfish."_

_"A classic. What flavor?" Poe inquires._

_"Regular cheddar. I'm a simple man."_

_"Okay, okay, what else?" Poe isn't even trying to fight the smile stuck on his lovestruck face now as he watches Finn move._

_"Minute maid lemonade."_

_"Alright, princess. Consider it done this Thursday when Daddy gets paid." He winks and Finn snorts._

_"Oh, God, that is awful. You're awful." Finn manages through his fit of giggles._

_Poe is cackling too, laughing so hard nothing is even coming out anymore. When the laughter subsides, Poe speaks first._

_"Okay, well what about me?"_

_"What about you?" Finn raises an eyebrow, opening a can of Dr. Pepper he found in the fridge._

_"You need to keep stuff for me at your place then!" Poe's arms nearly fly in the air. "It's only fair!"_

_"Fine, fine, diva, what'll it be?" Finn rests his elbows on the counter to rest his chin in his hands._

_"Hmm. Ground Control. Best beer."_

_Finn shakes his head. "We will talk about your drinking problem another day. What else?"_

_"Pop-tarts. Strawberry." He points. "Must be strawberry or no dice."_

_"Blueberry?"_

_"Pushin' it, buddy. Strawberry or else." Poe states in a deeper register and Finn wants to melt into the countertop._

_"Okay, okay. Anything else I need to add to my mental grocery list?" Finn questions and Poe needs to actually ignore the way his eyelashes bat so fucking beautifully against his cheekbones._

_"Oranges."_

_"Oranges?"_

_"Oranges."_

"You're doing it again, you know." Rey comments, scrolling absentmindedly on her phone. 

"Huh?" Finn jolts.

Then he realizes: the pondering. He is so out of his mind for Poe sometimes.

And it doesn't even matter. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the third and final and longest chapter!!!  
> i am clearly not a multi-chapter writer lmao so i put it all together  
> we LOVE finnpoe yall, we really do 
> 
> ((just also want to say thank you for goin' with my adaptation of finn and poe!!! tbh i think they're hard to write really well, their characters are so complex in the movies and i wanted to do them justice but eh!!! thank u for reading!!!!))

A knock at the door has Finn feeling a special kind of way. Because he knows who is standing on the other side. 

When he opens the door, he is met with a smiling Poe, clad in a hoodie that clings to him wonderfully, jeans, and the boots he's owned since the two of them met. His curls are unruly, as usual, but his eyes are as glimmering as they always are. And then he's pulling an item from behind his back, although Finn already knows what it is. 

"Back to the Future!" They say at the same time and it should be illegal how corny and dumb it is. Poe is stepping inside, kicking off his boots and making himself at home almost immediately. 

"Pop-tarts are in the kitchen!" Finn calls, moving Poe's shoes out of the middle of the doorway. But Poe is already striding back into the living room, mouth full of strawberry pop-tart. 

"You think this is my first rodeo?" Poe quips. It should be nasty, him talking with his mouth full like that, but Finn thinks it's almost endearing, so... _Poe_ to just be an absolute mess yet still witty and charming. 

Finn grins so hard it should hurt. "Yeah, whatever, big guy. I told you though, I made a promise!"

Poe flops onto the couch, eating the second pastry. "Where's Rey then?"

"Ah, somewhere with Jess and Leia. Think they were getting frozen yogurt and then seein' a movie." Finn shrugs, sitting next to Poe. 

"Ugh, I love Leia. I miss her. She never comes around anymore." Poe frowns, popping the last bite of pop-tart into his mouth.

"Probably because she was sick of seeing you covered in crumbs." Finn reprimands, brushing the front of Poe's sweatshirt off. 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Well, they're missing out on the best movie of their lives, clearly." Poe states, jumping up to put the DVD in. He flicks the light off while he's standing. And when Finn's eyebrows come together in confusion, Poe defends, "for the real movie-goer experience!"

_"October is inventory time. So right now, Statler Toyota is making_ _the best deals of the year on all 1985 model Toyotas"_

Within 15 minutes of the film, Poe and Finn are in awe like they always are. 

"This movie has no right bein' this damn good." Poe says. "How have I not incorporated this into my lectures at all somehow?!" He gestures with his hands wildly. 

"How does Rey not like this movie? It's outstanding! It's better than...than..."

"Whatever movie her and the gang are seeing. She's a fool, Finn, c'mon." Poe is joking, of course, but a part of him is being very, very honest. 

_Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads._

Finn and Poe clap ridiculously as the movie ends and the credits roll. 

"It's fucking perfect." Poe says, practically swooning.

"I have an out of body experience every time I watch that, man." Finn states, laying back against the couch. 

"Every time _we_ watch it, mind you. I don't think I've watched that without you in years." Poe says, a little softer and a little gentler than he intended to. 

"Well, it's like it's a part of us now, the thing that unites us." Finn replies, just as soft. Finn's gaze lingers on Poe, lets himself fall into this trap, lets himself pretend that there is another universe where this is real, this is something that matters. 

Poe feels himself leaning in, so subtly it could be unnoticed. If he had a time machine, he thinks, he would find a dimension or period of time where he and Finn held hands and shared a bed and watched movies until dawn. 

The moment is almost untouchable. Poe watches the rise and fall of Finn's chest; he is able to make out the structure of his collarbones and the way his eyes glisten. 

Poe can feel his palms becoming clammy, he can feel his breaths coming out shaky. If he could just lean in a bit more...

"Hey, guys!" Rey cheers, clumsily and loudly entering the apartment with Leia and Jess trailing behind her. 

Poe and Finn jump apart from one another like they've been burned. 

Poe can still feel himself breathing heavily as they all file inside, Leia and Jess immediately flooding their atmosphere, giddy and obnoxious, clearly tipsy. 

Poe lets himself breathe and pull himself together as Jess rambles on about a "pervy psycho" from the theatre. 

Finn murmurs to him, "Ya said you missed Leia." But the way he says it breaks Poe's heart straight down the center. 

* * *

"How do a 26 year old and a 34 year old find their way to mini-golf? Not even real, adult golf. _Mini-golfing!"_ Poe exclaims as the pair walk to the first par, clutching their putters. 

"It's gorgeous out, and you wouldn't stop bitching about finding something to do, so that's how." Finn retorts, hitting Poe lightly in the ass with his putter. 

"If I get sunburn, I am takin' you to court, pal." Poe affirms. 

"Yeah, yeah, well, you can go first, old man. Seeing as I am going to kick your ass at this." Finn gives Poe a comedic grin. 

"Oh, it's gonna be like that?" Poe raises an eyebrow. "Fine." He shrugs his shoulders and lines up his putter, fabricating professionalism as he eyes the hole. He takes one swing, and watches in horror as the ball glides past the hole almost mockingly.

"Finn: 1, Poe Dameron: 0." Finn jokes. 

Poe can't help the way he pouts. Finn loves to bring out the competitiveness in him. Poe watches Finn pull his phone out of his pocket and text rapidly with a smile playing on his lips. Poe pretends it doesn't bother him.

They banter with each other through all the pars. Finn definitely does kick Poe's ass at mini-golfing. Poe constantly overshoots the hole and at one point, manages to hit the gold ball into a small pond that Finn thankfully retrieves. 

At one point, Poe finds himself eyeing the way Finn is texting in between every par. It shouldn't anger him. It should't. Finn is allowed to text. But Finn hates texting unless it's Poe, or...

"Hey, tell Rey you'll get her vegan waffles later. You gonna plan on going anytime soon?" Poe all but snaps, leading on his putter. 

Finn looks up, confusion written across his face. "Excuse me?"

Poe has to bite his tongue, literally, to avoid saying something too dumb. 

"I'm just sayin', you've been on that thing all day. Rey can wait, can't she?" Poe shrugs, as if he's being rational.

"Since when do you care who I text? And Rey, of all people." Finn accuses. 

Poe exhales, clearly annoyed. "C'mon, buddy, I don't mean it like that -"

"But don't you?" Finn questions back.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Poe bites back, dropping the putter all together to put his hands on his hips. He's trying to keep his face neutral, trying to not let his anger consume him. 

"You never really wanna spend time with Rey, you get weird when I text her...like, since when do you not care for her?" Finn asks in a rush, clearly frustrated. He always talks fast like that when he's either nervous or visibly upset about something. 

"I like Rey!" Poe insists, heat trickling into his voice. "Why are you so adamant about reminding me you two are fucking? Nobody cares, Finn! We get it!" 

It's all so spontaneous, and now Poe knows, very well, why people say you shouldn't bottle feelings up. Because it _will_ come out in the worst of ways making absolutely no sense. And Poe now knows you _will_ feel like shit watching your best friend's face crumble into something you've never wanted to see.

And Poe regrets it immediately. 

Finn throws his own putter down. "I'm gonna go hang out with my _girlfriend_ now." 

Poe thinks his own heart dropped and is lying with the putters

* * *

The walk of shame is different than everyone thinks. Because for Finn, the walk of shame feels like midnight later on, dragging himself up the stairs to Poe's small apartment on the third floor to apologize for being the world's biggest douchebag. 

He's probably out of his mind, Poe has class tomorrow, and if he was sane, he'd be passed out already. Finn doesn't expect an answer when he knocks. But after a moment, the door is opening, and Poe is on the other side, mouth open slightly, a dazed look on his face. He's clearly having an insomnia episode; Finn can tell from the background: chips and salsa splayed across the living room table, the TV is on low volume, playing a rerun of _Friends,_ and Poe's glasses are low on the bridge of his nose. He looks fucking tired. 

_I hate that I made him feel like this._ Finn thinks bitterly. There is no worse feeling than staring at someone you love and knowing you have disrupted a peace in their heart that you planted yourself. 

"Hey." Finn manages, voice hoarse.

Poe eyes Finn for a moment. Finn can see him swallow hard, watches his throat bob, watches his chest rise slowly. 

"Hi." Poe says softly, almost monotone. Finn wants to scoop him into his ams, squeeze and never fucking let go. Hold on until the world turns to dust and only he and Poe remain. Wants to engulf Poe into himself and just become one. 

"I didn't mean - Earlier, I am sorry. Poe, I am so sorry, I don't know what got into me." 

Poe just stares back. Finn wants to say Poe is close to tears, but Poe is probably exhausted, and his eyes could be red and glassy from the lack of sleep. Maybe, Finn is trying to convince himself he isn't the one bringing Poe to tears. He's trying to argue with himself internally that he didn't fuck up that badly.

Poe doesn't reply and Finn can't help it and Poe's lips just look so fucking good and Finn honestly just feels so guilty and sad without his best friend so he surges forward to press their bodies together in a sloppy, hard kiss that almost hurts. Until Poe is wrapping one arm around Finn's neck and places his other hand on Finn's cheek and is kissing back, and _holy fuck, Poe is kissing back._

Finn kisses Poe until nothing makes sense, until he can taste some tears and he doesn't know if they're his or Poe's. 

They kiss until Finn is pushing Poe into the apartment and against the couch and the two fall over in the mess that they've always been. Finn on top of Poe is like Christmas morning, like summer rays on your cheeks in July, like rain after months and months of wandering the Sahara. It is pure ecstasy. Finn doesn't know how long they kiss like that, fast and needing and passionate and hungry. It feels like years, and God, does it feel good. 

"Finn -" Poe says against his lips. "I wan'a be with you." Poe murmurs as Finn is kissing down the side of his throat. 

"I want you to leave Rey. I wanna be with you." He repeats and Finn pauses against Poe's collarbone, dropping his head into the crook of Poe's neck. 

"Poe -" And he's sitting up, rubbing a hand across his face and sighing. He is a cheater. He is trash. He is an idiot, and he has to force himself to look away from Poe's swollen lips and the red marks appearing on his neck. 

"What?" Poe whimpers, and actually fucking _whimpers._ He sounds so sad. He sounds so scared and helpless with one single word. 

"I gotta go." Finn stands up, regret lingering in his voice. 

"Oh, we're doin' this now?" Poe spits, scrambling off the couch to follow Finn as he saunters towards the front door. 

"I - I just can't, right now, Poe. Rey -" He closes his eyes for a moment thinking of her eventual hurt eyes and wounded expression when he tells her.

"Rey. Yep." Poe's lips form a tight line. "Fuck you, Finn." He states, venom in his voice. He nods at the door, a clear indication to get out. Finn does just that.

* * *

Finn and Rey are watching SNL on the couch, enjoying each other's company a week later. He really hasn't spoken to Poe at all. And it's awful. Because Poe is always the first person he wants to go to when something funny happens, the first person he wants to see when something is troubling him. 

But fuck, he feels guilty. And rightfully so. He never meant for this to happen this way. He pined over Poe for two years before he and Rey got together. Poe must've known, the way Finn's eyes lit up whenever they spoke, the way Finn always inched closer during movies, the flirtatious texting and touching. 

Rey deserved better. He knew she did. He was going to tell her. 

But he couldn't get any part of his mind off any part of Poe. This is loss, he thinks, this is pain, this is hurt like he's never known. He never knew somebody could have this hold over you - an influence so intense it wakes you up in the middle of the night, cold. 

He's so into his own panic, he doesn't hear the doorbell ring, until Rey is poking him from where she is curled into a ball, wrapped in a blanket.

"Sweetheart, can you see who that is, please?" She asks, voice plagued with sleep. 

He rises, a numbness in his chest as he walks to the door. When he opens the door slowly, he doesn't even know what to think at the sight.

Poe, concern etched all over his face, clutching a bouquet of sunflowers so tightly his knuckles are white. 

For a moment, they don't say anything. Finn just stares and Poe looks heartbroken and Finn wishes he could stop time and kiss Poe until they didn't exist. 

"Um..." Poe starts, breaking eye contact. 

"Why, who are those for!" Rey smiles brightly, appearing behind Finn, still wrapped in her blanket. 

Poe's eyes widen instantaneously and his head shoots up to stare at her. 

He fumbles with the bouquet and stammers, absolutely at a loss for words. 

"They're - um - for you! They're for you!" Poe finishes, and the smile on his face is so fake, it kills Finn. He extends his arm with the bouquet towards Rey. 

"What? For me!" Rey is so ecstatic. As if Finn couldn't feel any worse for what he's done. He lets out a shaky breath he had no idea he was holding in and Rey reaches for the sunflowers gleefully. "Why me, Poe?" She inhales the flowers, smiling so hard her dimple pops out. 

"I just...y'know - just wanted to show you I appreciate you! A little 'Appreciate Rey' present. That's all"

Poe briefly looks to Finn as he speaks.

"And I wanted to tell you I'm sorry. For - for just, being a tool." Poe's fake smile fades, and his face goes back to being etched with woe. 

Rey tilts her head in confusion. "What?" 

"Just - you know how I am." Poe tries to manage a playful laugh as he looks down at the porch cement and kicks something lightly. 

"Alright, lovebirds." Poe mumbles. "Gotta jet, enjoy the sunflowers." He locks eyes with Finn one last time, gives a nod, and turns on his heel as his eyes burn with a hotness he can't even explain. 

When the door shuts, Rey turns to Finn, setting the sunflowers on the nearby corner table. 

"What was that all about?" She quizzes him.

Finn shrugs, but he knows how forced and staged it must look. "Dunno. Guess he must wanna get closer to you." He scratches the back of his head, but she isn't convinced.

"He hasn't been around in a couple weeks either," she points out. "And then he comes by looking like a kicked puppy, with flowers, and you looked paler than a sheet!" 

"What're you talking about?" He asks weakly.

"I just wanna know what's going on, Finn. I know he's your best friend and you care about him a lot. You two must have had something happen. Or am I over reading everything?" She rambles, and looks to Finn for some kind of validation. He swallows the truth back down. Not now, not after she looked so happy with those sunflowers and she was smiling genuinely. 

"He's just - he's busy lately. That's all, Rey." He decides to say.

* * *

Four days later and Finn just knows. He has been avoiding Rey, and frankly just isolating himself. He doesn't like who he has become without Poe. He's so torn up, so mad at himself for being immature and childish about this whole situation. Since the day he met Poe, he has refused to come to terms with his feelings and act on them correctly. 

He enters the kitchen and sees Rey reading _The Prisoner of Azkaban_ for what could be the 29th time. She looks so peaceful, eyes locked on the pages in concentration with her brunette hair thrown in a messy bun. She's wearing a flowing blouse and she's got one leg tucked up on the chair with her chin resting on her knee as she reads. 

Finn is about to drag her out of this fantasy into reality only to shatter her, only to watch her bottom lip quiver as it always does before she sobs. And he couldn't hate himself more. 

He sits in the kitchen chair directly next to her and it's only until she turns a page that she looks up to face him. 

"Hi, sweetie. What's up?" She folds the corner of her page down and closes the book, setting it gently on the table. 

"Rey - I wanna say something." Finn finds it hard to speak, mouth becoming instantly dry. He feels anxiety engulfing him like a disease. His hands are sweaty, and when he looks into Rey's eyes, they don't shine like Poe's do. 

"Oh. Okay. Shoot." She lifts her head from her knee and turns in the chair to face him. 

"I love you. I look at you and I am amazed that someone like you found something redeemable in me. I love how you laugh, and how you sing in the car, and how you talk to me like I'm real - like I'm someone that matters. You make me believe the world hasn't gone absolutely crazy. Because I look at you and I am just in awe of how good you are." He inhales deeply, and Rey must know something is wrong. Because she isn't smiling, she isn't floored at Finn's speech. She looks concerned, almost dismal. 

"Finn -" 

"I wish I could change how I feel. I wish I could just marry you and love you until I die. I wish I could make myself feel for you what I feel for -" He stops. He doesn't know how to tell someone you've dated for years that you are probably bisexual, in love with your best friend, oh, and that you're a cheater. Icing on the damn cake. 

"What you feel for Poe." She finishes, sadness seeping into her voice. And when the first few tears fall, it's almost dramatically beautiful. She's pretty until Finn realizes that this is heartbreak, that this is pain, this is hurt. Rey is a pretty cryer, but this situation is hopeless, this is killing her. She wipes away the stray tears, but Finn watches one drip from her chin onto her neck. 

"Rey - what? You - you know?" Finn asks, his own eyes welling with hot tears.

She swallows and shakes her head, laughing humorlessly. "Finn. Of course I knew. You were gone for him since the moment you laid your eyes on him in that classroom. I guess I just - I don't know. I thought you could get over it. I thought when we started dating, 'Oh, he must be through. It was just a crush. He loves me -'"

"I do love you." He interjects.

"Finn." It's like she's scolding him. "I know you could only feel an eighth for me what you feel for Poe. You look at him like he can fly through space, like he's a painting. And I love that you have someone you can feel that way about. I just - I just wish you felt like that about me." Her mouth twitches into a trying smile, but she can't hold it long before her eyes are filling with more tears as they silently spill down her flushed cheeks. 

Finn holds her because she doesn't tell him no. She cries into the crook of his neck. It is heartbreaking and hell and the worst thing Finn feels like he has done in his life.

When the two are sobbed out, she looks up at him. He can see hope in her eyes. 

She inhales a deep breath, and releases it. "I'll be okay. I know I will." She insists. "Because you are my best friend, Finn. And - and I want you to be happy, even if it can't be with me."

"Rey. Rey, I am so, so sorry. You don't know what this does to me - to do this." 

She waves a hand at him and shakes her head, but he knows she is in pain. "Hey. Go find that boyfriend of yours. I know he's probably got some sunflowers to give you."

If the situation wasn't so upsetting, Finn might have smiled. Instead, he feels a couple more tears leak down his cheeks and leaves Rey, who opens her book in hopes to find new tranquility within. 

* * *

The drive to Poe's house has Finn bouncing in anticipation. He is all kinds of anxious and frightened, just thinking about the look on Poe's face that last time they saw each other. He looked exhausted, bags under his red-rimmed eyes, his shirt wrinkled and rumpled, and God, he had looked so defeated and lost. Finn felt the same. Feeling like the other half of him was lost in another dimension and he had no way of finding it. 

Finn utilizes the drive over to Poe's to ponder over the other man. His shining eyes, the way they light up when Poe talks about sci-fi movies and corgis and Netflix baking shows and the old Gameboy Pokemon games. Finn thinks about the way it felt when they kissed, how Poe's arms had wrapped around so simply and easily - like they had been doing it for years. Like in another universe, Poe and Finn were soulmates and had finally found each other again in their embrace. They kissed like they were made to, like their own lives depended upon it.

Finn thinks they'd end up together in all universes. 

When Finn pulls up to Poe's house, he is all but surprised to see Poe sitting on his porch, cigarette limp in his hand. Finn has to stop himself from just fucking running up to the older man. He leaps out of his car and struts towards the porch, and Poe must see him, because he is immediately tossing his cigarette to the ground and stomping it out with his boot.

"I hate that you smoke." Finn starts.

"Wha-"

"I hate that you never use a plate at my place. And get crumbs everywhere. I hate how you've never heard of a damn comb." Finn continues.

"Excuse-"

"I hate how passive aggressive you are, how sassy you can be, how sometimes I just wanna punch you in your mouth because you're so frustrating and bitchy when you don't get your way." 

Poe now slowly stands up from where he was sitting. His lips are parted and his eyebrows are knitted together, trying to process all of Finn's insults.

"I hate when you think you know everything and when you're too sarcastic for anyone's own good. But -" Finn takes a deep breath. He knows this is it. 

"But I also love you. I love how much you care about teaching and your students. I love when you get competitive about anything, like monopoly, and fooseball. I love your eyes, especially when they're looking at me. I love your damn smile, Poe, it's infectious. It's fucking artwork, really. I love when you try and cook and you wear that hideous apron you own, I love when you let Leia paint your nails for whatever reason, I'll never know. I love when you comfort me when I have nightmares and I call you, I love how you always pick up when I call you, I love when you accidentally call me babe and then pretend it's a joke, I love when we kiss, and I love you. Everything about you. And i'm sorry it took me so long to get here. Frankly, I just think you have a way of slowing my entire brain down when I look at you."

Poe wants to stop the tears from coming, he really does. But he can't help it as he watches Finn as he takes Poe's face into his hands. 

"But I made it here, to you, and I wanna love you until you tell me not to - and even then, I will continue to be far gone for you."

"Finn -"

But Finn doesn't care, whatever Poe was going to say can wait, because Finn attaches their lips together beautifully, like a song they both know the words to, like a dance they both know the choreography to. 

Poe's words are swallowed down by Finn's mouth and the August air embraces them as their bodies press together desperately. Finn kisses Poe to make up for all the times he couldn't, for all the times he ignored the urge to. For all the times he was afraid to and all the times he thought about it until it drove him crazy. 

Poe's arms wrap around Finn like they always have, like they always will in the same, rehearsed manner. Like a memorized poem. Like fate. In this universe, and in every universe after this, and every universe before, they are together. 


End file.
